If I Set the Prices, You'd Pay $1 Million Per Miller Lite

Getting a beer after a long day always makes you feel better.  Especially after it seems as if you've had to battle Godzilla in order to get relaxation time.  Getting a nice cold one will help ease all the pains of the day.  The bartender sees you and says, "What'll ya have?" and you order the mother of all beers.  (It's your usual anyway.)  You pull out your money and, whaaaaaaa?  The price increased $.50!

The bartender needs to know how disappointed you are in the prices.  THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!  You're a faithful customer and they will absolutely listen to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I bet in your day they didn't even have cups for you to drink your beer out of; you had to cup your hands and drink.  But that was after you walked everywhere, uphill both ways, in a snowstorm, without shoes because you couldn't afford them.

I find it odd that fifty-cents is an outrage to most people considering there is starvation, poverty, unemployment, and Sarah Palin in the world.

But, this is why I have zero sympathy for you:

I DON'T SET THE PRICES, I JUST WORK HERE.

Alligator  arms.

I'm not wearing a tutu with a magic wand, therefore I'm not the magic Price Fairy that just made your drink a special price.  I have no say in this area.  Tightwads like you don't get special rates or get treated to a price of free-ninety-nine.  (Although, I'd like to charge you extra for a bad attitude.)

Your alligator arms can't reach deep enough in your pocket to spare an extra fifty-cents?

Well, my Go-Go-Gadget-Arms stopped working and I can no longer reach the taps.

I would love to go back to the good-ol'-days when two-bits for a monetary exchange made sense, but since this isn't the 1800s and you didn't ride in on a horse screaming "Hi-yo Silver!", you need to get with the times.

Prices inevitably rise and the more you complain, I'll inevitably stop listening.

I'll give you the two quarters if you promise to buy all the Dubble-Bubble they can buy and shove them all in your mouth at the same time (so I don't have to listen to complaints any longer).

Fifty-cents should not be worth your sanity, and beer should make you happy.  Let the booze do its job and allow me to do mine.