If I Had a Desperation Meter, It Would Be off the Charts for You

Having a nice meal, a few cocktails, hanging out with your ladies Sex and the City style, and then...  Whoa!  Hottie-boom-bottie across the restaurant.  Pull out your mirror, check your teeth, fluff your hair, stuff your bra with available napkins.  You refuse to be the Miranda of the group.

Wait, the hottie is coming to your table.  Great!  Slip on some Marilyn Monroe charm and be elusive...  Elusive girl.  Okay, so he didn't immediately ask your name.  You got it covered.  Write it on the receipt.  He won't be able to resist your sexy note.

Let's look at this objectively.  You didn't introduce yourself.  You couldn't give the manager your number yourself.  You left this hoping he would find it.  And, here's the doozy, you expect him to call you with no information.



I hate to burst your bubble, but what is the number one complaint that women have with men?  THEY NEVER CALL.

The kinds of women who typically do this are ones that are uncharacteristically flawed.  The baby crazed, the "I'll chain you to my basement wall", the can't function in life without a man, and the I am really a man types (this isn't a limited or inclusive list, just an observation).  Men don't see this behavior as sexy; they see it as silly.  They don't know you and your anonymity hasn't intrigued them to find out who you are.


If you wanted to get their attention, flash a boob.  Men respond to skin not anonymous words.

Do you know who does respond to mostly anonymous messages?  Serial killers and those who are victims to serial killers.  I mean, have we all not heard of the Craig's List Killer?  No one should strive to be a walking Lifetime movie.

On the flip side, if  we all avoid murder, this is very sixth grade reminiscent, "Do you like me?  Circle Yes or No."  You should've just asked him to go steady and to share a milk shake at the diner in your poodle skirt.  The only thing that could have made this any less daring and more juvenile is if you dotted your "i" with a heart.

When you leave your phone number on a receipt for a bar employee, the only phone call you can expect is going to be prank.