Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, e.g.: Manners!

It's busy, maybe three deep at at bar, and you're thirsty.  You see the bartender through the sea of people, then as if the Red Sea had parted by Moses himself, you see an opening and you dart to the bar hoping you are one step closer to getting your beer.

You aren't noticed right away.  You start flashing your money in the air; that doesn't work.  You start snapping your fingers; the doesn't work.  You start yelling to get the bartender's attention; that doesn't work.  You get impatient.  How long can it possibly take to get a beer?  I mean, you twist off a cap, cash them out and move on.

Obviously this is why you aren't being served.

Remember the everything I need to know, I learned in kindergarten signs?

There's a reason why this is so popular.  Because small teachings when we were younger still hold true when we are adults.  Remember, "what's the magic word?"  Yes, please and thank you go a LONG way when you want something.

Personally, if you want a bartender's attention, learn their name, say, "Excuse me", and know what you want.  There is nothing worse than an impatient bar patron flashing money, like it's bait for a fish.

WE'RE NOT STRIPPERS.  If we were, we'd have names like Cherri Pie and come with bios about how many golf balls we can fit in our mouths at the same time.



Also, if you think we're all motivated by money, ask yourself this question:


Are you this guy:

My guess is no.  But, if you think that you're just as good as him, you're probably this guy:

Remember:  Your money is just as good as the next guy's, whose money we will also be glad to take.  But you are probably looking to get boozed up, and we'll make you the soberest person in the place, and then you won't have an excuse as to why you are an idiot.  So learn your manners, and then you can blame it on the alcohol.